MY AUNCLE RAPED ME SINCE AGE OF 11 YRS.

I'm really sorry that happened. There aren't words that I can say to describe the horror that you must have lived with. What they did to you was utterly wrong, and morally indefensible. Your ability to stand and speak about your experience is a testament to your strength as a person and as a woman. If you ever need to talk, about what happened, or just about anything, please feel free to email us at sporahshow@hotmail.com

MY UNCLE RAPED ME FOR 6 YEARS
the older I get the more I realize what happened to me, and the more I realize how long it went on. The first time that my uncle molested me it was my 4 birthday, I hade told my mom that I hade wanted to dress myself so she and my stepdad were downstairs getting ready for my party, and my uncle came upstairs to my room to wish me happy birthday. Me and him hade always been really close he was always so nice and friendly and he always let me get away with stuff, but when he came in my room that day i was in the middle of getting dressed and my dress wasnt on yet, he said he hade a special gift for me...He picked me up and sat me in my chair and undid his pants and exposed himself to me(i have 36 boy cousins now and about 24 back then so i wasnt unuse to seeing boys things) but i hade never seen a grown mans before and i was alittle scared, he told me that if i wanted my gift i hade to put it in my mouth, i said no, he said i hade to lick it for him(i was raised to do what grown-up said) so i did, he moan and told me he loved me and that i was a good girl, but i hade to put it in my mouth if i want to go down to the party, so i did, he grabbed my face and made me give him head, till he was done, i remember him panting and tell me he loved me while he held my nose and put my hand over my mouth telling me to swallow, so i did, and he hugged me tight, i was crying, i told him i didnt like it,he said he was sorry and that he didnt want me to tell anyone that i didnt like his gift cause he didnt want people to know i didnt like it, he gave me candy and told me to get dressed. after that he didnt really try anything so extreme but he was always hugging me to tight or insisted on bathing me then lock the door and let his hand 'wander', and he'd make me change infront of him and even if i was dress he'd tell me to try different outfits on in front of him. i didnt think it was to weird cause i came from such a big family and i was the only girl so people were aways bathing me and being nice.

It's was bad but i didnt know any better and it wasnt hurting so it was under control till i was 7 then my older brother got sick and no-one knew why, it happened when i hade the chickenpox so people were blaming me for it, one day i came home from school and my mom and my brother were gone, and no-one would tell me were they hade gone, all my (step)dad told me was that they we're gone and that cause of he job he wouldnt beable to get me to and from school so i would have to go stay with my auntie anne (which was great cause she hade four boys and i loved my cousins) but i was starting to get scared of my uncle cause i was getting older and he was still watching me get dressed and bathing me when he could even though i was bathing myself at home. but i hade to go, the first day was amazing, me and my cousins played all day and at bath time my uncle wasnt home. but that night he woke me up(there house was solid wood and he had music blasting from the living room so the all the rooms could slightly hear it) he asked me if i love him, i was 7 and i did love him so i said yes then he kissed me on the mouth and put his tongue in my mouth, i pushed him away and pushed my back up against the wall on the other side of the bed but he grabbed my leg and pulled me back he told me that no-one loved me that my mom left cause she did want me and nether did the rest of my family he said that my aunt was cheating on him and he wanted someone to love him and for him to love he said that no-one wanted me but him, he said that he loved me and that, that was how people who loved each other kissed. i let him kiss me and i cry and tryed to get away while he molested me....it hurt so bad i still remember every word he said and every breath he took i remember every pain i felt, i remember him getting up and saying that, that was enough for now and that he loved me and he would show me how much he loved me the next night. that night i stayed up and cryed all night and in the morring i told my aunt i was sick, that night(the second night i was there) my uncle raped me....i screamed and cryed and begged him to stop! i cryed for my mom,(as most 7 year olds do when there in pain) and he said she wasnt coming for me, he said no-one was coming to save me, he said that the only person that even care about me was him, i told him he was hurting me and he laughed and said good, he even licked the stream of tears running down my face. when he was done he said if i told anyone they would hate me and think i was a dirty girl for saying it, he said that he hadnt wanted to do it but i had made him do it, he said it was my fault and that i had brought it on myself...and i believed him...a part of me still does.

that happened every night and because me and my cousins went to different schools he would take me and my aunt would take my cousins and he'd make me do things in the car. after 2 weeks in that house my uncles was bathing me and dressed me in my nicest church clothes and told me to sit in my room......the priest from my uncles church came(my uncle was catholic)i thought maybe we were going to a wedding or something when he came in the room, but he walk over and kneeled infront of me and told me i look beautiful...he raped me....the whole time i cryed and looked and my uncle's shadow under the door...i kept hearing the priest say he was sorry and that he was trying to be gentle, he told me it was his first time, which i believe(i had gone to mass once with my uncle and a man of the cloth, a man who gave up everything for god, he saw me once and just gave it all up...there most be somthing wrong with me)

my uncle raped me till i was 13 and the priest till i was 12....i've only told this to one person my whole life, and he told my uncle i had told him so they both raped beat and torchered me telling me to never tell anyone else....as the months passed my uncle got more and more violent he beat, burnt, cut, torchered and sodomized me for years and i never said a word, and when my mom came back and i left he would beat my cousins 4 no reason till i came back...so i went back to him.....i let him hurt me to save them. thats why i get so angery when people say i'm selfish....cause i gave up everything for my family, my childhood, my body, my innocents, my obility to love and be loved. i cant even sleep anymore, i cant take showers with the shower curtains closed, and people cant touch me. i dont hug or stay in a room alone with my stepfather, who is the worlds best stepfather and i know it hurts him...if you met me you would never know what happened, i'm all smiles and jokes but...it hurts...it always hurt.....i still see him, smell him, feel him....i dont sleep cause my body rejects it cause since it happened hes all i dream about, and its so real, its like be raped all over again. i have never told a soul this...i'm dealing with it, i don't let it effect my daily life ....Wow...there it is....there is my childhood.

If you ever need to talk, about what happened, or just about anything, please feel free to email us at sporahshow@hotmail.com

54 comments:

  1. Anonymous03:50

    I must commend you for sharing your story. I can't yet

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  2. Anonymous03:53

    wow, this story is so awakining, ur a strong person

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  3. Anonymous03:54

    spora hili ni tatizo kubwa sana hapa bongo, Watoto wengi wanabakwa na ndugu zao wakaribu lakini hawasemi.

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  4. Anonymous04:06

    Sporah njoo uokoe kina dada huku Bongo hili ni tatizo kubwa sana, kinadada wengi wanatolewa bikira zao na ndugu zao wakaribu. Hata mke wangu wa ndoa amekua akiwa abused na Kaka yake mzazi. Hili i tatizo kubwa sana huku kwetu. Nice show Dada nimechek leo star tv. keep it up.

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  5. Anonymous04:13

    I can only say that I hope GOD helps you heal. This wasn't your fault ... why things happened and that you are not the only one that this has happened too. All men are not evil anymore than all women. Your story here had to be hard to tell ... but getting help is your choice if you feel that there are things still affecting your life from these tragic events. Healing takes time, but you have to realize the fact, you have to go on and make a new life for yourself ... the past is gone and the future is yours. I wish you the very best. I'm sure that your story here will help others. Leo

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  6. Anonymous04:17

    Pole jamani, this is so sad! jamani lakini kwa nini wanaume wengine wako IVIIIIIIIII. MCHWIIIIII. Pole sana Dada muachie Mungu atadili nae ipasavyo.

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  7. Faitha.04:24

    Sporah Nimeipenda sana Blog yako,Simple and Classy kama Spora mwenyewe.

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  8. Anonymous04:26

    Thanks Sporah Show.
    I was raped too by some family members for 2 yrs only reason they stopped was because i popped up pregnant...I became very sexual after they did that to me...but because i grew up to learn more about God i learned to forgive them i knew God would handle them way better than i ever could...now 8 yrs later they are catching hell with their own daughters... Jesus loves u and ur testimony can help a lot of young girls...mines did....BE STRONG....DONT GIVE UP...AND KEEP YOUR FAITH
    ~SMOOCHES

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    Replies
    1. Anonymous14:26

      Them catching hell from their own daughters is not justice. You should report them. Even today. Your pregnancy would be proof of rape.

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  9. Anonymous04:29

    Ur story really ripped my heart apart, I really wish ur uncle would rot in hell for he had done to u. But why didn't u go and complainto ur Auntie or somethin' when it was all happenin'???? or ur cousins?

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  10. Anonymous04:33

    Story kama hizi bongo zipo kibao, poleni sana kina dada.

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  11. Anonymous04:50

    I know how you feel GIRL.

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  12. Anonymous04:53

    I am glad you had the strength to talk to Sporah Show about this and hope that you are getting the help you need.

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  13. Anonymous04:55

    Pole sana dada, thanks all i can say.
    BM

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  14. Anonymous05:19

    Im So Sorry For What Happend To You!
    I Was Sexually Abused Too But I Deal With It In A Wierd Way To Everyone Else,,
    Im Going To Give You Tha Advice That Someone Once Told Me..
    ''Not All Men Are Like This, And As You Get Older You Will Realise That, Ive Had Bad Expiriances With Men Before But You Have Got To Understand That Not Everyone Is Like The People Who Caused All This Harm To You''
    Hope You Can Come Through And Shine Like The Star That You Are

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  15. Anonymous05:35

    Hi Sporah, thank you for posting this beautiful Video, my name is Abi am 19 original from Nigeria.
    One of my best friend was sexually abused in childhood by her maternal uncle. She found the courage to tell her mom 2 yrs back. Her mom never believes her. She never accepted that her brother could have done this. Now she doesn't know what should she do to cope with this and move on untill now. I will ask her to get in touch with your team ASP.

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    Replies
    1. Anonymous14:28

      Its mothers like that that are the devil's advocate and must be punished together with their daughter's rapists.

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  16. Anonymous05:53

    Sporah kwanza ningependa kukupongeza kwa kazi nzuri unayoifanya, nimeangalia leo show yako hapa Star Tv, nimeipenda sana.
    Dada tatizo la Child Abuse ni kubwa sana hapa Tanzania na jamii yetu hailiongelei ili suala ki-ivo, maana wanaona kama nikuidhalilisha familia yako. Ningeomba Ufanye kipindi cha show kama hii kwa lugha ya kiswhili ili mabinti wetu waweze kupata huu ujumbe kama ulivo, Trust me, hili ni tatizo kubwa mno kwenye familia zetu. Kazi njema.

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  17. Anonymous05:58

    OMG.
    My uncle (and aunt, uncle's girlfriend) sexually abused me from when I was about a year old until I was 12. I only told my mom that my uncle hurt me. And she refused to believe me. Fortunately, I don't see either of them anymore. Keep your spirit up girl, your beautiful.

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  18. Anonymous06:09

    Sio watoto wakike tu Spora dada angu, hata watoto wakume wanakua wanawachezea katika umri mdogo, tena sana tu. Ila hapa Tanzania watu wanaficha ku protect heshima za familia zao. na badala yake hawa vijana wakikua wakubwa nanakua Ma GUY! Karubu Bongo Sporah tunakuitaji sana.
    Kaka Issa.

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  19. Anonymous06:20

    Pole sana dada.

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  20. Anonymous06:31

    I wish ungekuwepo Tanzania, ninayo story kama hii tena yangu ni worse Sporah maana huyu ni mtu ambae sasaivi ni mkubwa na anaheshimika sana kwenye jamii yetu na watu wengi wanamfahamu kama mtu wa heshima. Kusema ukweli mpaka leo bado sijasahau na sijamsamehe, na kila nikimuona, Picha yooote inanijia. Namatumaini hii show yako itasaidia watu wengi sana hapa nyumbani.

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  21. Anonymous06:34

    Hii ni mara yangu ya kwaza kuitembelea blog yako Sporah, na kweli nimekukubali. Iko juu dada.

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  22. Anonymous07:14

    Mshukuruni tu Mungu Dada zangu maana nyie mnateseka na mawazo tu, sasa huku kwetu Africa waathirika waachiwaga na Gonjwa kubwa la UKIMWI, unabakwa na GONJWA LA UKIMWI juu yake. Big up Spora

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  23. Anonymous07:48

    Sio watoto wakike tu wanakuaga wanakua wanafanyiwa matendo mabaya Dada Sporah, hata wakiume pia. Njoo Africa ujionee mwenyewe.

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  24. Anonymous08:55

    Im really sorry that happend to yu, it hurts wen pple yu know are the ones hurtinq yu so bad like da.

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  25. Anonymous09:07

    Poleni sana wahusika.

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  26. Carol09:13

    Nice one Sporah.

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  27. Anonymous09:20

    Hi Sporah, Thanks for posting this.
    Being raped has contributed to the person I am today. Living through such a violent, hateful and demeaning experience has affected me greatly. Every experience that we- whether it bad or good- affects who we are. I am now a much more cautious person. Before being raped I would believe everyone was good until they proved me otherwise... now I'm just the opposite. I believe there are many many bad people out there and I can't be so naive as I once was. This all may sound terrible but I am still a very optimistic person. I just don't trust as easy.

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  28. Anonymous10:08

    Sporah Umejaliwa kipaji cha kimataifa, Endela kupeperusha bendera yetu.
    Tunakupenda sana Dada.

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  29. Anonymous10:46

    Jamani hii inaigopesha hasa kwa sisi single parents, sasa itabidi tuache kuwaamini sana ma boyfriend zetu.

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  30. Anonymous13:06

    OOh Poor girl,
    Just stay strong Darling.

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  31. Anonymous13:14

    Sasa Bongo lini Sporah?

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  32. Anonymous14:07

    Hii ni noma, hasa kwa watoto wa kiume, da Ntaua mtu.

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  33. Anonymous16:43

    YOUR SO LOVELY SPORAH, I watched ua show 2day at *tv big up sis.

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  34. Anonymous19:52

    Sporah your going to succed more thank you expect my dear friend, You were born to do this, Just keep it up. You have a massive potential, incase you don't know.

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  35. Anonymous20:28

    Woow! i am so sorry. If you are spiritually frankly its only God who shadows the pain.
    I know how it feels especially when its somebody close to you.
    I don't know how it happened for my case, all i can remember i lied to stop it. He was my martenal uncle(young brother), he warned me not to say a word and i didnt, eventually I was fade up so i faked that i did. By then i didnt know what it meant but as i grew i am tormented by the memories. It true when you said, ".....and its so real, its like be raped all over again."
    I told two people but non of my family dont know it till now!!
    All I can say be strong You can overcome this. Eventhough the mark of the wound will still remind you of the hurting but atleat You will be able to make best of your future.
    Thank you Sporah for posting this.

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  36. Isack20:45

    We need more young girls to come to your show and talk about this issues, this is the only way to stop it.
    YOU NEED TO CREATE AWARENESS ESPECIAL FOR OUR BLACK COMMUNITY.
    Good Show.

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  37. Anonymous20:53

    I thought I was alone in this world... I was raped by my older brother(he is ten years older than me) since I was 4, he raped me for 5 years... I finally told my mother now that I am 18 and she told me to forget it like it is a dream because she loves my brother and that there is nothing else to do...i still have to see him everyday and talk to him and even buy him food and clothes, I do it so that my mother could be happy because I really love her for all the sacrifices she had made for us,i think about going to therapy but I shy away from it... I feel that no one could understand. He still makes my life a living hell by being rude and inconsiderate to me, I even take care of his 6 months daughter while he's over at another house smoking weed all day-I wouldnt want her to be near him anyways. I just dont know what to do to help my memories go away, and just like you my dear, my childhood will forever be scarred but reading your story makes me want to become a stronger and reach out to help other girls and to inform them on how to come about when this happens. Thank you for sharing your story today, I feel enlightened.

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  38. Anonymous05:07

    I watched ur interview with catwalk proffesor, it waz really awesome..i learnt a lot lyk nt chewing in the public,nt 2 hold a glass with a left hand,2 speak lyk a lady n many more hahaha waz really fantastic.. Sporah show is one of the beeest best show now in Tanzania.

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  39. Anonymous07:36

    This is very bad, I hope your ok now. May God bless you.
    Thanks Sporah for sharing this educational story with us. Be blessed girl.

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  40. Anonymous11:33

    Sporah jamani nakupenda sana dada, naomba Mungu siku nikutane na wewe, Ukija Dar ningependa utembelee Funs wako maana mi Ni mmoja wao, chumbani kwangu nimeweka picha zako, yani nakupenda Sana Dada, na naipenda sana Show yako, napenda life style yako, am just crazy about you. Mungu akuzidishie.
    Your biggest fun from Mbezi beach.

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  41. Audrey17:35

    I am sooo sorry. Thanks for sharing your heartbreaking story with everyone... even though it was probably hard. It's really hard imagining that your uncle and a priest would do this to you... i was near tears reading this whole thing, and once again, i'm sooo sorry.
    Thank you Sporah for this powerful msg.

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  42. Anonymous20:35

    Did you swish his semen in your mouth before you swallowed?

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  43. Anonymous15:14

    Is it possible for you to re-write this story with spell check? I found it hard to follow.

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  44. Anonymous16:53

    if you believe this you believe that you remember your 4th birthday party

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  45. Anonymous17:02

    Funny. I thought only toothless hicks did this. Guess I was wrong.

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  46. Her childrens father is also their great uncle

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  47. Anonymous07:39

    Jmn hii issue ipo sana huku tz am 28yrz zaman hta mm ilishawah nitokea nilikuwa nabakwa na kaka yangu wa ukoo aliekuwa anaish kwetu.nilijua kwa sababu nakaa na step mama nilishindwa kusema.nimechukia maisha ya mama wa kambo mpka leo naamin kma angekuwa mama yangu lazma ningesema.niliapa wanangu ctakuja kuwaacha nyuma na ctaacha mwanangu alale na baba yake hata ck moja.wanaume ni wanyama sana

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  48. Anonymous03:31

    What a sad story, things like these happens, but I would like to encourage that lady abt it, there is one person who will never be ashamed of you, and that person will always love you , that person is GOD, belive me he will pay for you, so sorry dear.

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  49. Anonymous18:01

    its so sad...good job my dear sporah

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  50. Anonymous08:57

    The world is on fire soon.

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  51. Anonymous14:23

    Women need to talk to young girls about sex and rape. Young girls need to be informed about the dangers of men and young boys. Wafundishwe kwamba kitu kama hiko ikitokea they must inform their guardian. Guardians must act in a way that protects the child and as well as brings the man to justice. Men rape sana because they can. Wanajua kabisa huyu mtoto hatanisema au akinireport nitakata and they'll believe me. The culture of protecting men and allowing the victims to live with their pain and shame needs to end. We all have to do our part especially as women because we are the ones that truly know the pains of sexual violence. All women must fight for other women cause believe it or not we are all in this together. Rape is a political tool that men use to show dominance and so women must band together and have a united front in society. If their is an abused girl you know of. Report the perpetrators ata kama the family or the people she lives with are ok with her being raped. We need to end the culture of victim shaming.

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