CHECK OUT WHO IS ON THE SPORAH SHOW THIS WEEK.

This Week On The Show, We Will Be Discussing A Topic From Our Fan (Julie Dollie)
 "LONG ENGAGEMENT" 


Am Still Wondering How Long A Typical Engagement Should Be. 
How Long Is Too Long To Be Engaged Before Marriage? And
Are Long Engagements A Sign That The Wedding Will Never Take Place?


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Des O’Connor is one of the top Relationship Coaches in the UK. Over the last two years, he has coached thousands of men and women. He provides them with simple, proven techniques and resources on how to find attract and keep the right partner.

Back in 2007, Des was a qualified Driving Instructor when his marriage broke down. Following this experience he decided to change his career and re-train as a qualified Life Coach. Des achieved a High Distinction in Life Coaching and then decided to specialise in Dating Coaching.  He worked with single men and women and helped them to find and attract the right partner for them.
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Simara Dixon.
I am a mummy first and foremost, I have a 3 year old little boy who is my heart and soul in everything I do. I have been modelling for few years and I have had the opportunity to do a range of things such as Catwalk shows for the likes of John Peter for Yes London and Pierre Garroudis Flash mob, NataliyaDolenko, Fab Magazine Launch to name but a few and finally London Fashion Week.


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So guys, does it really matter how long your engaged before marriage?

 
I think it depends on the couple and what their wishes are, some people like long engagements and others do not...to each their own.


I  think it depends on each couple - there is no 'one fits for all rule
But I think when greater importance should be attached to the significance of being engaged. It's the official committment and should be treated as almost legal.

Am sorry guys, but WHY LONG ENGAGEMENT?
Don't get engaged until you are ready to get married. 
I think it's better to wait longer before getting engaged, than to get engaged early but not start planning the wedding for ages.
My fiancee and I had been together for 7 years,  i was engaged for few years. When we found out I was pregnant, He was thrilled! He had been involved in every aspect of the pregnancy. As time went on, things got very rough in our relationship, but I was bound and determined to work through it. Unfortunately things dint go well, then he left me soon after my pregnancy. 
 I enjoyed my pregnancy even tho he was not around, it was fun and I don’t regret  having my child it was the best thing i could have done, I am a great mum and have a great life.

 
I have to tell you this,  there are many women who take the decision of getting engage/married simply because they hope that marriage would change things which is not actually true. There are women who had a clue that their marriages were not meant to be but still went ahead with it anyway. I mean after two years or three either you know that this person is worth spending time with, making plans together or not. 

Now the divorce rate has increased greatly and marriage rate obviously decreased. One of the reasons for this is because many people are rushing into marriage for all of the wrong reasons and with the wrong person. Marriage is taken advantage of these days unlike the old days. It is better to wait and make sure the person you are with is really going to be the one you want to spend the rest of your life with.


But think about it... sometimes don't you think people get caught up in the ring and engagement?  ALSO....If you get pregnant after said engagement and prior to marriage the chances are even slimmer!  
On one hand, you have those girls who try to "conquer" a guy and do what other women who have failed, only to find that they themselves fail, no matter how much they do.

On the other hand, you have the simply naive girls who feel that they "love" a guy (though I think it's just physical attraction) but they want to change the guy in terms of personality so that he fits the "man bill" for their dream man when all they couldve done was find someone who already fits their bill.



Yes, to a point Sporah and from experience I can honestly say it's something that you should never do.
Women marry men believing that together they will make all their dreams come true and have a loving home and also the romance that was there in the beginning. Men marry women to have a partner that they can count on and talk to and share their homelife with.
On my side, i was thinking  and plan about any things at a time and don't express many of their ideas, plans, and expectations to him. And definitely i so much believed that with time i will be able to change  him mentality, It seems pretty stupid to me now. 
I mean, why would you want to change someone if you can't accept them for who they are??



I guess maybe it's because they see someone they really want, but there's always that little something about him they figure can be changed/improved....From experience I can honestly say it's something that you should never do....the longest relationships seem to be when both partners accept each other just the way they are....and if there's any changes to be done, it's purely voluntary...not expected.


This reminds me of an old saying "WOMEN MARRY HOPING THEY CAN CHANGE THEIR MAN. MEN MARRY HOPING THEIR WOMAN DOESN'T CHANGE"


I suppose it really depends on how long you have known the person before you become engaged.
Really, whatever works for the couple.


Rushing to get married actually increases the chance of divorce because couples don't give themselves enough time to date and get to know each other well. 
Please contact us, We help couples reconcile problems in their relationship, Marriage counselors, or relationship counselors for married couples.


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14 comments:

  1. Anonymous17:46

    love you sporah

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  2. Anonymous00:41

    i love this topic, bn there.

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  3. Anonymous00:49

    Yes, I'm in a long engagement, it makes sense since you need to save money, weddings, from what I hear are pricey.
    We have only been together for 6 years.. we are in NO RUSH and we aren't having kids. Ever.

    ReplyDelete
  4. charlie00:55

    I've never understood having an engagement of longer than 1 year. Isn't engagement from when he asks, to when they can have the wedding? I think a year is plenty of time to schedule and plan a wedding. But if that is what you want, then I guess its ok.

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  5. Anonymous01:08

    an engagement should be no longer than A YEAR.

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  6. Anonymous01:48

    My engagement was 2 years, It was great to have plenty of time to plan, organize, and pay for everything.

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  7. Anonymous02:10

    Nope.. Nope... I don't see the point of getting engaged if you aren't actually ready to get married. I don't care if it's financially, emotionally or whatever. If you get engaged, start planning a wedding. Have the wedding you can afford as soon as you can. The whole point is to get married and start your life together.

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  8. Anonymous02:18

    mambo ya kutapeliana hayo, na mdio maana nyingi zao zinaishiaga njiani, WHY LONG ENGAGEMENT?????????

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  9. Anonymous02:22

    Most Looong engagements, you find marriages don't last for long, because its like there is nothing special, no excitement or whats so ever.

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  10. Anonymous13:42

    however long you need. everyone is different.

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  11. Anonymous14:29

    Nimekaa kwa raha zangu nasubiri kuangalia the sporah show

    ReplyDelete
  12. Anonymous15:03

    I watch your show, nice one

    ReplyDelete
  13. Anonymous15:11

    Show yako nzuri sana sporah, love it.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Anonymous02:03

    love you sporah

    ReplyDelete