I'M A LESBIAN BUT I'M SCARED TO TELL ANYONE WHAT SHOULD I DO? Am Dying Inside..!

I'm Not And Never Have Been Attracted To Guys...!  My Mom Expects Me To Get Married To A Wonderful Husband And Have Kids.  

Ms Sporah Njau.
My name is ...... and I am 24 years old, doing my last year at Tumaini University (Tanzania) and I'm A Lesbian but I am scared to come out of the closet because of my family value, culture and people around me.

I'm afraid of what my family will think, my parents are strictly religious and are absolutely against homosexuality. They already hate me enough because I don't follow much of the religion staffs.  My mom expects me to get married to a wonderful husband and have kids. I don't want to do that because I'm not and never have been attracted to guys.

I knew I was gay since i was in form two and now, I'm in a relationship with my mom's friend daughter who is two years older than me living in Mbezi and she has a good, well paid job. We are planning to move in together when i finish university, we love each other so much.

We have been together for 3 years now "in the closet" is eating me up inside. I want to come out to my parents, but they are so close-minded and they think that all gays should be burned. I can't stand this anymore! I'm way too stressed out to care anymore. I need your advice Sporah, please. You can publish my story but please send me private advice like your sister. I will take your advice because your my role model.

 I already have a bad relationship with my parents and coming out will only make my relationship with them worse. I'm so scared and I don't know what to do! I'm also tired of my Dad's comments about gays. He always says they are disgusting and perverted. I wish that I could move out of the country. I have attempted suicide twice when i was young, but now i love myself too much for that. And i have someone who truly love me, we are so happy together.
Writing this makes me feel soo relief,  just knowing that your reading this, and that i have someone to share with makes me feel so much better, coz am dying inside Da Sporah. I just want to scream and make it all go away, but I can't. I just don't know what to do anymore! PLEASE HELP..!

I love you Sporah so much
Yours......
Big Fan, A True Fan xoxo



DO YOU HAVE YOUR OWN TOUCHING AND INSPIRING STORY TO TELL?
LOVE STORY, VIOLENCE, SEXUAL ABUSE, OR ANY DISASTER STORIES? 
HAVE YOU EVER GIVE UP ON YOUR DREAMS AND REGRET IT? OR PURSUE YOUR DREAMS AND IT SUCCEEDED? 
WE WANT TO HEAR YOUR STORIES AND INSPIRE MORE MUCH PEOPLE WITH YOUR STORIES! YOUR STORY MIGHT HELP ANOTHER PERSON IN OVERCOMING CHALLENGES.
TEL: 02075360382. 
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38 comments:

  1. Anonymous15:49

    Mh pole dada.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Anonymous02:34

    dah so sorry for ya...that makes the two of us. what i did was to accept who i real am b'se i tried to change bt cudnt i even go to see doctors n there was nthng they cud do. i thank God n life b'se i have understandin friends and a mum i always talk to her as a friend and i started teln her wat i plan for life n i do believe cku nikimwambia she'l understand what u shud do c kuwaambia straight yo a lesbian anza kuwaelimisha kuhusu gays weng hatukupenda bt ts biological situations made us just hav trick qns to ask them am sure t the end of the day watakua open-mind then ndo utawaambia kumbuka non of our parents wanataka tuwe hv tulvo. Just one thng u shud do ni kujkubl the way u r most of my friends knws what i am and always shud tel me nt to worry bt to be me no matter what....i believe my advice can somehow gv a clue to wat u can do.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Anonymous02:38

    Good news you have a partner,
    don't be afraid! there's nothing wrong with homosexuality! Love your sexual orientation and get in touch with others who are like you!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Anonymous02:45

    Nenda kanisani ukaombe Mungu, hii ni laana PURE.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Anonymous02:48

    Get yourself right. You a bright gal and you got a beautiful future ahead. Don't spoil it by being a lesbian.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Anonymous02:54

    You better see a Psychologist my friend.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Anonymous03:01

    What's the problem here again? You're just scared of judgment? Come on, grow up, you can't be lesbian and not be brave.
    I actual like Sporah, i wouldn't if i get her, hel lipsss.
    By Naija babe.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Anonymous03:10

    Uwiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii, tanzana tunapotea kabisaaaa, MUNGU WANGU!

    ReplyDelete
  9. Anonymous03:13

    GO WITH YOUR HEART.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Very touching story this is. Due to our strong cultural beliefs and the way the parents of this girl emit themselves towards her, breaking this news to them would indeed be a very tough thing. Keep your head up high girl, and finish your studies first before distracting yourself with this issue.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous06:37

      THANK YOU SO MUCH LEILA, AM A BIG FAN ON YOUR WEBSITE. I WILL FOLLOW YOUR ADVICE.
      THANK YOU DADA ANGU.

      Delete
    2. Anonymous08:18

      Being a Lesbian especially in Tanzania z not easy but just love urself enough to go for what you want and what makes u happy because at the end of the day it comes down to accepting what you are no matter what or live a miserable life pretending to be something you are not. I'm a lesbian too and I'm out to most of my closest people and some of my family members but I'm working out the courage to come out to my mom and dad. I have tried for some time now to educate them about homosexuality though I haven't succeeded fully i hope at some point they will be accepting enough when I finally reveal my sexuality to them. Coming out is a process(never ending process) and it always feel better after saying it out. I come from a quiet reserved family so I understand what you are going through but my advice is you should start with the closest family to you maybe a sister if they don't already know then ho from there. There are not many lesbians who have the courage to even ask for advice in public so i commend you for doing this. This reminds other lesbian and the LGBTQ community in general that they are not alone and we are not freak of nature we are just human. One important thing is try to associate yourself with people who accept u for who you are and try to find friends along the LGBT cycle, it helps a lot having people to talk towho understand what you are going through.

      Delete
    3. Anonymous08:28

      Be strong and take it one step at a time. I'm a lesbian too and as a Tanzanian and a lesbian i know how difficult it can be for lesbians and the LGBTQ community in general so we are here to support each other anyway we can. I hope you will be able to come out at some point and when you are going through that know that there are other lesbian out there that are cheering you on.

      Delete
  11. Anonymous04:07

    believe in yourself girl

    ReplyDelete
  12. Anonymous04:11

    mh mrudie tu Mungu dada-angu

    ReplyDelete
  13. Anonymous04:23

    You don't need to worry about them, just embrace who you are as there is nothing wrong with it. If they really cared about you than they wouldn't reject you for being a lesbian.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Anonymous04:33

    Be proud of who you are. put youself around more lesbian people mbona tupo wengi sana hapa Bongo?
    Sporah mi nakutaka wewe, yani ningekupata wewee, ningeku... mpaka basi. Nikukuangaliaga kwenye TV nakua nakutamaniiii.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Anonymous05:13

    Nenda kaombewe dada, mapepo hayo yanakusumbua.
    Duh pole sana.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Anonymous05:54

    In all honesty, people such as you're parents, are not worshiping the God they think they are. God is not of judgment, hate, intolerance or even religion. Yes, I am speaking of the same God that you are. God is love, acceptance, forgiveness, understanding and even having the desire to learn of how others choose to participate in their belief.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Anonymous06:22

    kusema ukweli hata mi nakupenda sana Sporah, ningekupata ungesahau UK.
    Njoo Bongo ututembelee Sinza kwa wajanja.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Anonymous06:26

    I'm simply telling you that you are a lesbian and you were meant to be and no body has any right to make you feel like you were made wrong or that you shouldn't be proud to be exactly and only who you are. If you feel inside that you must tell your parents about your preference then do it and do it with conviction because this is who you are, who you're supposed to be and there isn't a thing anyone can or should even want to do anything about. If you feel inside that you can't tell your parent who you truly are then don't.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Anonymous06:35

    SHETANI MKUBWA, IVI NA WEWE SPORAH KWANINI UNA FT HUU UPUUZI KWENYE HII RESPECTIVE WEBSITE??????
    MIMI KAMA FAN WAKO, LEO UMENIKOSA MAMA, SITAKI HATA KUJUA KUNA HABARI GANI KWENYE HII WEBSITE YAKO LEO.
    GET A LIFE YOUNG LADY.
    AM OFFFFFFFF.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Anonymous07:15

    Acheni ulimbukeni nyie, nani kasema kuna mtu eti anazaliwa Gay??? Mnaiga mnaiga mapaka mnakua wapumbavu, haya kazi kwako dada. Dunia ndio itakayokufunza.

    ReplyDelete
  21. Anonymous08:05

    Acha ushamba, ishi maisha yako. Mbona tunawajua kina Mama Bongo kibao wako kwenye ndoa zao lakini nje tunawasaga sana tu. na wanatuweka mujini babu ee koma.
    Wanawake watamu kuliko wanaume, habari ndio hiyo.
    Love you sporah.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous21:30

      HATA MM NINGEPENDA NIPATE WAKUMSAGA HAKUNA RAHA KA HIYO. FANYA KITU RAHA YAPENDA DIA.

      Delete
  22. Anonymous11:15

    Sporah dadaangu, hapa ni kama unatangaza ma Lesbian

    ReplyDelete
  23. Anonymous06:59

    Mama, muombe Mungu akubadilishe, haya ni majaribu ya shetani.
    Pole sana, niitakuweka kwenye sala zangu.

    ReplyDelete
  24. Anonymous07:19

    Don't bother to retaliate to people who say things like "you will go to hell".

    ReplyDelete
  25. Anonymous08:20

    Hata mi ningependa kum... Sporah, ningemlamba mpaka akome, angemsahau boyfriend wake au ndo ingekua bye baye London. Chezeaa Lesbians.
    We kuwa muwazi Life is too short kuishi kwa kuwafurahisha watu. Tembea tembea mjini Dar mbona tuko wengi sana, wakina dada wengi mjini ma Lesbian, wengine wana Viboyfrind vyakubabaisha tu, wengine wake za watu kabisaaa. Achana na maneno ya watu, maliza zako shule njoo Bongo and LIVE YOUR LIFE.

    ReplyDelete
  26. Anonymous08:28

    Sporah Is My Inspiration and Idol. I love you.
    Sindy from SA.

    ReplyDelete
  27. Anonymous15:16

    Sasa kama na masicha une #mchumba hahahaha!!
    Unataka nini tena?? Mungu akusamehe dada maana hujui uyatendayo.

    ReplyDelete
  28. Anonymous02:46

    Just be yourself because everyone else is taken. Stay strong.

    ReplyDelete
  29. Anonymous01:01

    oh no, its good she finishing her studies en another thing is that she
    loves herself, my advice is that if possible let her talk to her
    partner first and see if they can stop what they are doing b'se its
    really evil, she wll get a great man for a husband and produce good
    children but for lesbian she is just enjoy the passion and only sex,
    there is nothing good in it. They shd rlly stop it and be good women
    as our African culture encourages.
    THANX EVA FOR HELPING THE YOUTH

    ReplyDelete
  30. Anonymous01:38

    pole sana mdogowangu, muombe tu mungu akubadilishe, huyo ni shetani.

    ReplyDelete
  31. My dear lesbian,,,,,,u are not alone at all
    I am a lesbian too,,a pure lesbian

    I never get interested with any boys..I can
    Say in boys world I am stil virgin
    But when I am with my lesbian partner
    Owh feeling so alive,,,,I have suffered a lot
    Like u as u in our country its so hard
    To be accepted as a lesbian

    But we are lots of them,,so u are not alone
    At all........we can communicate via
    Email tatianareyes49@yahoo.com

    This is for lesbians only
    Please men stay off
    Email tatianareyes49@yahoo.com

    ReplyDelete
  32. Anonymous05:16

    It is very true that some are born with hormon inbalances zinazowafanya kuwa hivyo.

    Chanzo kingine cha hili jambo ni kitu kinacho itwa generational curses which is due to generetional iniquitie of our fathers.

    If you read the book of Romans 1:18-32 you will realize the rejection of God and sins of our fathers made us to inter vile affections.

    God does not judge but he wants us delivered from this affections for same sex.

    I understand this because i was born a lesbian and been one for all my life. Christ saved me. I dont say i do not have feelings i will be lying, because i do but i pray always not to act on them cause i know God does not like it.

    I pray that you find peace in all of this because it is the most deficult expirience due to peoples judgments on you.

    ReplyDelete
  33. Anonymous04:42

    Wait...U mentioned Tumaini University? I've already noticed u.. Oh la! Connecting dots Now I get da clear picture. Very sorry darling.

    I heard this story (strong rumour) of you from some students around the college and at first I just took it as a mouthful substance.

    I'll now have to be looking at you closer & closer. Pole and hongera for being brave enough to share this out!

    come beonlinetz@gmail.com for more...

    ReplyDelete
  34. Anonymous06:40

    Hingera sana wewe lenian! I love lesbians si much although I am a guy.
    Contact me: hermanjoe29@yahoo.com

    ReplyDelete